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When do you need to address your anger

When do you need to address your anger?

Short on time? Take a moment to give the audio recording of this blog post a quick listen.


Throughout life, emotions play a pivotal role in shaping our decisions, actions, reactions, and overall well-being. Among these emotions, anger stands out as a powerful force that can signal many things to us; namely a boundary has been crossed or that there is an unmet need that needs attending.

However, for some individuals – and we have all met them – their anger seems to be a way of life. Whether it’s perpetual rage or dumping or the quiet incessant undermining criticism or be-littling of someone.

Contemporary psychoanalysts refer to ‘acting out’ as an attempt to communicate something unspeakable. Experiences of childhood terror cannot be verbalized, but, rather, the memories are experienced as radical mood shifts, panic attacks, or somatic experiences. Anger can be clean, but when it becomes aggression or rage it’s a sign that it has a root in your past. It’s related to unprocessed trauma or what is commonly known as a trauma response and without therapeutic intervention, self-reflection and healing you’ll keep tripping over the same triggers.

If left unchecked, this can lead to significant consequences. Research suggests a typical window between 2.5 to 3 months following the initial surge of anger during which individuals are most likely to act out again. This ‘acting out’ can manifest in various ways, each with its own repercussions. The aftermath often prompts a serious wake-up call, whether a confrontation escalates into a regrettable situation or an impulsive decision leads to long-term consequences. At this point, many find themselves facing the stern warnings of a spouse, the loss of a family, the intervention of social services, the authoritative stance of the police, the disappointment of a boss, or even the personal realization that they are teetering on the brink of losing control. Essentially, if you lack the skill of time management in managing your feelings, life will enforce it upon you.

It’s a critical moment that serves as a turning point for many. Faced with the reality of their actions and impact, many individuals seek help by enrolling in anger management courses – willingly or not. The most common sentiment participants share is not anger, but regret—not for seeking help but for not doing so sooner. By the time they arrive at one of our courses, their lives are often in disarray, burdened with the task of learning to manage their anger and dealing with the fallout of their actions – painfully so. In this way, we never underestimate the courage it takes to arrive.

This observation brings us to an essential realization: anger, when left to rot, does not simply fade away. Instead, it intensifies, weaving itself deeper into the fabric of our lives and relationships. The importance of addressing anger cannot be overstated. Recognising the signs early and seeking intervention before reaching the critical 2.5 to 3-month mark can make a profound difference in the trajectory of one’s life.

Our courses equip individuals with the tools and strategies to effectively understand and manage their anger. Participants learn to recognise triggers, develop healthier coping mechanisms, and ultimately forge a path toward emotional stability and resilience. The transformation we witness is a testament to the power of timely intervention and the strength of the human spirit to change.

If you or someone you know is struggling with anger, we encourage you not to wait. The sooner you seek help, the sooner you can begin the journey towards healing and reclaiming control over your emotions and life. Remember, it’s not just about managing anger; it’s about building a foundation for a more peaceful, fulfilling future.

Join our highly acclaimed 10-week Anger Management Online Group Course and learn essential strategies and techniques to effectively understand, confront, and conquer your anger.

If you are unsure where to start,  Don’t worry – our team is here to help. Schedule an Initial assessment call with Mike Fisher, Director of The British Association of Anger Management and renowned Anger Guru. Gain personalized insights and guidance to kickstart your journey toward emotional well-being.

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