The gift of responsible parenting

The future depends on how well the parents of today fulfil their parental role. Children learn how to navigate life by observing and mimicking the behaviour of the adults they encounter. Responsible parents understand parenting is a reciprocal relationship, the birth of a child offers adults a unique opportunity to mature, grow and learn about themselves. The gift is as our children grow, so do we.

Responsible parenting requires commitment, endurance, patience, and self-examination. Parenting develops compassion, deepens empathy and can also be an effective antidote to narcissism. Parenting often reveals hidden wounds.

We all benefit when parents better understand who they are and model essential human values.

Responsible parenting is a broad concept that encompasses multiple aspects of your own life and the life of your child. More than basic food, shelter, and clothing, it requires parents living their lives as role models. Kids watch and listen to what their parents do. They take everything in, absorb their parents’ words and actions, and emulate them best they are able.

Responsible parenting is an accumulation of parent’s actions and interactions with their children. Parenting has a dual function, creating both a foundation for your child’s health and development and the maturing of the parent. The essence of good parenting is to encourage character traits like honesty, self-direction, kindness, cooperation, and self-control.

The parent/child bond sets in place a model for future relationships and if successful enhances connection to self and others. This bond is complicated by its very nature and often reflects the values of previous generations. We parent largely the way we were parented, until we question our upbringing and begin to discern what worked and what was counterproductive.

A tragic example of questionable parenting offered by a man who set the stage by first qualifying his story, excusing his father’s behaviour, “My dad did the best he could.”

“My dad told me I was a waste of space and would never amount to anything, I believed him. Now, at nearly sixty I realize I became who he said I was, a failure………because I loved him.”

Responsible parenting acknowledges that parenting is both an art and a skill. The goal is never perfection, the goal is attention and presence. Parents grow impatient, stressed out and angry at times, what we model in moments of vulnerability reveals the overall health and well-being of both child and parent.

Elements of healthy parenting

Support

Every child deserves support and attention, so parents must ensure to support their children in whichever way they can to bring out the best in them.

Discipline

Discipline is vital, both in terms of physical boundaries and emotional security. Parents must set understandable and consistent boundaries that align with their values. The consequences of discipline should be appropriate for the age of the child and forgiving.

Involvement

Being actively involved in the affairs of your child is encouraged. Apart from the time to do things together, stay current with the happenings in your kids’ life. Attend school events and activities together and become familiar with their friends.

Responsibility

Give your children age-appropriate tasks and chores to develop self-reliance and confidence. As they grow so does their responsibility, increasing the ability to foster success and healthy work ethics.

Positive focus

Positive focus involves helping the child to have a positive perspective on life rather than a negative outlook. Help your child find creative solutions to obstacles, develop a determined attitude and optimistic outlook.

Love

Responsible parenting is motivated by love. Love is supreme and encourages parents to be involved in all the elements of good parenting listed above. Love helps kids feel valued and facilitates healthy self-esteem and a belief in their abilities. When parents openly show love and affection, the children learn to be caring and kind to others.

Why responsible parenting matters

As parents, value the important role you play in your children’s life. You are your child’s most valuable asset. Your good character and generous care are critical.

Be aware of adverse childhood experiences (ACEs) Potentially traumatic events that occur in childhood and tremendously impact the child’s future health, opportunities, and well-being. As demonstrated in the previous example adverse childhood experiences leave an enduring bruise can lead to chronic health conditions, risky behaviours or inhibit healthy connection.

A responsible parent would never intentionally jeopardize their child’s mental health or risk chronic health conditions in the future, yet somehow, it’s a common experience. The effects of adverse childhood experiences vary broadly yet there’s little question, abuse or neglect impact a child for a lifetime.

Responsible parenting isn’t about perfection, you will make mistakes and suffer regrets. Parents strive to do their best to interact positively and respond to their kids’ daily needs. What is essential in good parenting is that the parents have the child’s best interest at heart.

Children desire loving parents. Let every parent give their best to ensure that today’s children get loving, supportive, and conscious parenting. Let’s be there for them, and for ourselves.